Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Money? What money?

Every once in awhile, mostly when I’m stressed out at work (or at home, or on the freeway, or really anywhere other than the farmer’s market) I have this very bizarre moment in which my world stops, and a Talking Heads song starts playing, like background music to the movie that is my life.
And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
And you may find yourself in another part of the world
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife
And you may ask did I get here?

Today is one of those days. I received a call at 10:30am from some colleagues in another office across town. They’re checking up on me, since I’m operating a 32 acre property that does over $300M a year with a skeleton crew. The exchange went something like this:

Them: $1.6 million
Me: $1.6 million what?
Them: You have $1.6 million in outstanding AR.

(I think to myself…I’m missing $1.6 million? I probably should have known that.)

Me: Oh, it’s all in unapplied cash. I have it – it’s just not in the correct accounts.

(I’m a liar. I have no idea where it is. They laugh.)

Me: Besides, who cares? We don’t have an accountant, so there’s no one to bonus anyways!
(They laugh again. I am soooo funny.)

Them: Don’t you remember? They changed the bonus structure to include us.
(The laughing continues)

Them: I guess you’ll just take the free donuts.

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