Old Hag-dom

Last night, Bri made one of the most poignant and truthful comments I’ve ever heard. Bri said, “To commandeer a quote from When Harry Met Sally, but when you suddenly realize that you want to stay home, take a bath, watch TiVo and go to bed early for the rest of your life, you want the rest of your life to begin right now.” At least, that’s what I think she said. I’m not entirely sure; we were both wearing earplugs and hollering over the sounds of Cheap Chick – an all-girl Cheap Trick tribute band playing at the Knitting Factory in Hollywood.

I don’t want to bring up the fact that they are paying homage to a band that really wasn’t all that good the first time around. I’d even like to pass over the fact that ThundHerStruck, an all-girl AC/DC tribute band, was lead by a stunningly beautiful woman who was swigging beer from the bottle and channeling Angus Young with remarkable precision. I was at the Knitting Factory for Constance, because she is auditioning for the Ramonas, an all-girl Ramones tribute band. This is line-up is certainly no coincidence.

When I first imagined this blog, I thought I would improve my writing skills by reviewing restaurants, books, concerts and the like. That might not be possible, because I can do that in just a few lines: Cheap Chick is an unnecessary novelty, ThundHerStruck’s lead singer sounds too much like Angus Young to be anything other than eerie and even though the Ramonas look good, their sound isn’t.

Currently I’m most concerned with my rapid descent into “old hag-dom.” I wore earplugs at a concert for the first time in my life. I started to nod off half-way through the second band. When I went to use the restroom at the end of the night (which was actually 2:30 AM and way past my bedtime), every toilet seat of every stall was lightly splattered with vomit residue. The words “damn kids” didn’t leave my lips, but I definitely thought them.

This might be harder than I originally thought. My only consolation is that if I do decide to give it all up and resume my fabulously dull life, at least I’ll have Bri to watch TiVo with.