Bacon of the Month!

Today’s trip to the mailbox delivered something special: The Grateful Palate’s 2008 Gift Handbook.

Oh, my.

Last year, in an attempt at The Best Girlfriend Ever title, I bought my beau a year-long membership to the Bacon of the Month club and a six-month membership to Amazing Clubs’ Beer of the Month. My thought behind these gifts was twofold. On one hand, neither one of us needs any more clutter in our lives and the “disposability” of edible gifts was really appealing to me. It also crossed my mind that if our relationship went belly-up in the next year, every month he would get a tasty reminder of what a great girlfriend I was - and that satisfied my bitter, vindictive side.

It’s December again, and we’re still together only 10 pounds heavier with a freezer full of artisanal bacon. One would think that a pound of bacon could be easily consumed over the course of a month by two culinary-inclined adults. We’ve had bacon fried in the pan, baked in the oven, wrapped around filets and scattered over stew. We’ve had it for breakfast, lunch, brunch, snack-time and dinner. The freezer is stocked, we have a bacon surplus and still I’m tempted once again to order.

The “Field Guide to Bacon” includes roughly 45 different varieties of bacon, all with tasting notes and a 1 through 5 rating system. Some bacons are good for kids, others are best for breakfast and sandwiches. (I’m partial to jowl & shoulder bacon, myself.) The selection and variety of bacon is amazing. But I can’t have any more bacon in the house. I just can’t do it.

Though what I find especially enticing is this:

Pies! Delivered to your door! Every month! With cocktail recipes!

Oh, my. My, my, my.

Phoebe Lawless will make 75 pies a month for The Grateful Palate – which means only 75 members may join the club. At $66.00 a month (not including shipping) it certainly isn’t the cheapest way to get your pie fix, but if you order it for your sweetie and the relationship goes sour…